Defeating Daily Despair Through Fellowship

As I’ve made a commitment to search for joy in Christ, I have tried to keep my eyes open to what could help lead to this end.  A scripture I used in my Sunday School lesson last week, John 15:9-12, and the demonstraion of a dear friend leads me to a conclusion today.  Certainly not the end all, be all conclusion of finding joy, but another step in a direction that I think the Lord may use to help me be a happier, more joyful person.

Discouragement happens when we least expect it.  Life throws us curve balls that we aren’t expecting.  It’s amazing how often we attempt to make plans and they are turned upside down and we have to be “flexible.”  I have found that life is less stressful when I “roll with the punches” instead of fighting against it.  Yet I am often prone to do so…to become engrossed in my own situations and often times fret, worry, and freeze.  I absolutely become paralized in fear if a situation can’t be beat into submission with my fists or mind.  I get trapped in my own absorbed thoughts.  Yet today, a brother in Christ gave me an example of what Christ told us to do in the scripture I mentioned before.   “Abide in my love, keep my commandments…These things I have spoken to you that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full….This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.“ 

Wes Ramsey, a good friend but someone I rarely talk to, called me today while I was at work just to say that he had been thinking about me and that he had a suspicion I may be feeling discouraged, but he also wanted to let me know to hang on, God is a big God, no matter what.  Wait on the Lord through these discouragements.  It was funny, I asked how he knew I was feeling this way, and I didn’t know who he was talking to.  He said he was just talking to the Holy Spirit.  Wow.  I have no doubts he was listening to the Holy Spirit, I was indeed feeling pretty discouraged, but he didn’t have to call.  He could have went right on praying for me without me ever knowing it, but he took it a step further.  He took some more action, and he called me to encourage me.  “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.“ 

Jesus says that my joy will be full when His joy remains in me.  And in order for His joy to remain in me, I have to remain in His love.  And to remain in His love I have to obey His commands.  And He commands us to love one another.  Like Wes loved me today.  So I got to thinking, it’s amazing how little I think about myself and my troubles when I’m doing for others, whether it be praying for them, helping them, calling them, getting fellowships together for them or just giving a word of encouragement to them.  I appreciate Wes, his Sunday School class who prays for EHBC in their search for a pastor, and I appreciate my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I believe I will make it more of a habit to tell them so more often.

Defeating Daily Despair….

The holiday season has ended….
The Christmas tree still stands without it’s trimmings because we just haven’t quite finished taking it down. The gingerbread house sits in an empty trashcan because Karen was sweet enough to take out the trash this morning. Otherwise it would have balanced precariously on an overflowing trashcan. I probably should have taken the whole colorful mess to the bin outside, but why? The kitchen trash was empty and was right there. Now the trashcan is full…because of the gingerbread house…sigh….I’ll take it out later.  These are the half made decisions of someone who is lazy, but in my head, I’m not lazy, I’m not this person that I see, not in my spirit, am I?

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” – James 5:16.  I want to be a righteous man who’s prayers avail much, so I confess my sins to my brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Since the holidays have ended, nearly every day I remember feeling dread when I wake up. That’s not right. As a Christian, that’s not the way it should be. The Word of God commands us to “rejoice always.” Jesus Himself says, “come to Me you who are weak and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  Well I feel heavy laden A LOT. I wear a lot of responsibility…at least I think I do.  I’m a manager over a warehouse, a leader in my church, I volunteer quite a bit, I do a lot for God, I love Him, He loves me and that’s why I do it.  So why do I dread?  Why do I fear?  It’s not right, something’s off and I know it.  Does this sound familiar?

This year I made quite a few resolutions and have absolutely not done a single one that I’ve said I would.  “Lose weight,” nope, thinking I may be going the opposite direction, but still working on it.  “Get organized,” my office looks like it has exploded.  Really, it’s embarrassing.  “Eat at the dinner table with the kids,” it’s the 10th, maybe I’ve eaten once with the family, hey I’m a busy guy.  Sound depressing?  It does to me. 

One new year resolution I want to keep:  STOP waking up afraid.  STOP dreading the life that is mine and that the Lord has blessed me with.  It isn’t right, and my fear is sin.  So I want to repent of that sin, I want to take steps to fix it, some might work, some might not, but the kingdom of God is at hand and I want to show works that show my repentance. 

Here’s just a few things I plan on doing to help accomplish this goal.

1.  Wake up and pray.  Pray for those who may feel like me when they wake up, my loving friends who right now find it hard to get up.  Let my first thoughts be GOD.  That’s GOD as in LORD GOD, not using his name in vain…even though I’m not a morning person.  Don’t forget the coffee.  Stop being so down on myself for not getting up earlier than I would have ever got up…I can start doing that when I’m old enough that my body just does it naturally.

2.  Remember to take my medicine.  The Lord blessed us with doctors for a reason, use what they recommend.  Luke was a doctor…I like Luke.  Lexapro is my friend.

3.  Read a devotion every day before I start work.  I have found “My Utmost For His Highest” to be perfect for this.  It doesn’t take long, but man, is it profound.  It MUST be done.

4.  Exercise more, ride the stationary bike when I get home for 20 minutes.  I asked the doctor once if there were any foods I could eat that would give the same chemical to my body that my antidepressants provide.  Remarkably, he said that exercise is really the only thing that releases seratonin, the chemical that the brain needs.  Wow!  Exercise!  I hate exercise!  But I don’t think God made our bodies to sit around all day long, so exercise it will be.

5.  Write this stuff down.  Someone told me I was pretty good at writing once, I think I’ll start doing it more.  Maybe write some progress in “defeating daily despair…”  I have a couple more thoughts about yesterday’s devotion on Psalm 139.  I’m so thankful the Lord knows me like He does.

6.  Read an uplifting devotional just before bed.  I firmly believe that Jesus Christ more than likely did a ton of laughing as a person, not like looney toon mind you, but as a person who people were comfortable around.  People followed him by the droves, would children have loved him if he was the sullen, quiet guy we see in the paintings all the time?

Well, it’s not a perfect list, but it’s there, and it’s a start.  Jesus said we could have life more abundantly.  I don’t think our wallets will be fat because of that verse, but I think our mental health should be.  I love the Lord so much, along with my family and my church family.  Life is to short to dread every day.  It is time to overcome and conquer.  To be a “glass half full” kind of guy – Deuteronomy 31:6.

Off With Their Heads! Or Maybe Just Slaves…Which is Worse?

If the giants came out of the camp and drew the battle lines yesterday, they crossed the line and brought their army to fight alongside them today.  People say “it’s gonna get worse before it gets better…” and that phrase drives me crazy; probably because it often proves to be true.  And so it seems that James, the brother of Jesus, one of the first of the twelve to be martyred, decided to address this issue – “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  I’ve heard many think that just when they couldn’t take anymore-BAM!!!   Something else knocks them flat on their rear.  I personally pray for a couple that I wonder sometimes how they continue on….

Still, I wrestle with this idea of having joy in suffering, joy because of suffering, joy with suffering or anything else that combines the word joy and suffering.  Today I was reading a story in 2 Chronicles 12, where Rehoboam, the son of Solomon chose against serving the Lord and gave his service to other gods and other kingdoms.  As judgement, God sent Shishak, king of Egypt, against  Rehoboam with twelve hundred chariots and sixty thousand horsemen.  God sends the prophet Shemaiah to Rehoboam in mercy with the message: “you abandoned me, so I have abandoned you to the hand of Shishak.”  Rehoboam repents, as he should, and God says with amazing mercy and grace, “they have humbled themselves, so I will not destroy them, but I will grant them some measure of deliverance, and My wrath shall not be poured out on Jerusalem by means of Shishak, they will instead become his slaves so that they may learn the difference between my service and the service of the kingdoms of the countries.”  So…in mercy, after repentence, after they see the error of their ways before God, punishment is still coming….how would I feel if I were Rehoboam and the people of Jerusalem?

We fail to recognize how great a mercy that God showed us when he sent us Jesus Christ, and how now he considers us heirs with Him when we repent of our sins.

How would I feel?  At first, I would probably feel, “that’s not fair.”  And I would be right, God would have every right to destroy me, humble repentence or not – I sinned, and that’s justice.  Second thoughts?  Rehoboam was having a BAD day – A REALLY BAD DAY!  Nevertheless, God was merciful to him and his people.  In the end, God was setting out to work in Rehoboam’s life, he wanted Rehoboam to learn something, that there is a difference between serving God and serving others, and he will learn the joy between the two.   Rehoboam was eventually going to learn joy through suffering and God would be glorified through destruction of people or slaves of people, justice would be served or mercy would be given.

So when I look at my life, the giants that have risen about me, the problems that never seem to stop and there seems very little rest; have I considered if God has been glorified someway through it?  Has my attitude been humble towards Him?  Glory belongs to the Lord – whether I’ve had a bad day or a good day – problems or not.  I love the Lord, and I want Him to be glorified in my life…even with the suffering.

Real Men Want Faithfulness…So Does God

“And when all Jabesh Gilead heard all that the Philistines had done to Saul, all the valiant men arose and took the body of Saul and the bodies of his sons; and they brought them to Jabesh, and buried their bones under the tamarisk tree at Jabesh, and fasted seven days.  So Saul died for his unfaithfulness which he committed against the Lord…But he did not inquire of the Lord; therefore He killed him…” - 1 Chronicles 10:11-14

On this day, valiant men not only risked their lives to bury their king, but they buried who he was, and the direction that their nation had taken because of his actions.  So much had gone bad for Saul up to this point:  Jealousy absolutely drove Saul mad, he hunted David down like a dog to do him harm, he consulted a medium for advice rather than going to the Lord for council and he had not kept the word of the Lord. 

Everyone had such high hopes for Saul, he was tall, dark, handsome, and even a bit bashful when Israel chose him as king.  He even had the prophet Samuel, but Saul thought he knew better than God, better than God’s prophet.  Before we get too hard on Saul though, it’s probably a good idea to look at ourselves and how much promise we have, but we go our own direction.  We sacrifice for God, rather than obey Him.  We allow so much to pull us from His Word and Prayer.  Feast days (Christmas, Easter and Sunday) are observed but God is not on our minds and hearts.  Faithfulness is far from us as we are an unrepentant people.  We are so bent toward sin and run towards it with open arms.  We live in a society that says “follow your heart” while God says, “the heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it?”  Distractions pull us toward spiritual apathy and we try to convince ourselves that God is not displeased.  The bible says that Saul died for his unfaithfulness which he had committed AGAINST the Lord.  So according to this, it’s possible to be unfaithful not just toward the Lord, like ignoring Him, but AGAINST Him.  This puts a new fear in my heart when I think of all the time I go to bed and have barely acknowledged the Lord or His people.

Thank God for Jesus and the fact that we put faith in Him!  Valiant men fast for this!  They bury that sin which Christ died for and desire for that newness of life.  The life of faithfulness which Saul had forsaken is now ours because Jesus is not dead and buried, but ALIVE!  Why would we desire anything less?  Why would we fast for that sin of complacency, apathy, distraction, and pleasure when Jesus says, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life?”  What more could we possibly want?  So my question is for men – are we valiant?  Will we bury our sin?  Will we fast and desire more for Christ or for sin?  For unfaithfulness and apathy, or faithfulness and obedience?  It’s one or the other.  Which one are you?

This is the stuff….

I had to chew on three of the guys who work for me yesterday.  It seems like any time I make it a point to have a “talk” with someone, it turns into an all day affair.  It drives me nuts!  I have stuff to do and all these guys want to do is NOT what they are supposed to do.  It happens. 

My grandfather went in to get a biopsy done on what they believe to be lung cancer on Monday.  I called them my folks for the first time since they found out he probably does have cancer it and will need radiation to treat it.  I tried to be tough, asking my Grandma if he wanted to get better, when I realized how my tone sounded, I just broke down.  It was so crass…who DOESN’T want to get over cancer, and here I am, making accusations that he might not.  She said he really does.  I could hear such empathy and love just dripping off her words, she truly does love him.  She said he’s so small that you can just count his ribs in his “little ole’ body.”  I can’t imagine him that way, he’s always acted so tough, sometimes to the point I just get angry with him…he’s so stubborn!  But now, instead of trying to be tough, I just cry because I want him to get better too, I want HIM to want to get better…so I pray harder for him then I have in a long time, weeping, sobbing, and griping the whole time.  It’s funny though, I think the Lord probably hears those prayers better than any He ever has heard from me.  Those are the times I bear my soul…not hypocritical, not memorized, not all eloquently jazzed up for Him…just me and my unbridled, unhidden feelings about those I love and how I love them and want them better.  I expect Grandpa will get better with time and I expect I won’t be so hard in my heart towards him.

Work…it takes work to love people, to love my Grandpa, to love my enemies, to love my coworkers, it takes work…this is the stuff that drives me crazy…but to God be the glory – His will be done, not mine.

Lookin’ to vote in November

  I’ve been listening to NPR (National Public Radio) and politics is ALL they talk about when they aren’t covering world catastrophies.   So it got me to thinking…who’s running for Senate in Oklahoma?  No big surprise it’s Tom Coburn.  Ethically, morally, conservatively and fiscally, he’s got everything I want to see as a representative for Oklahoma.  One concern though…he’s way against deficit spending…which I like too, but that means all he’s really doing is blocking everything that Obama and the dems throw down.  So while he plays goalee in the White house, is anything else getting done?  If Republicans take Congress this upcoming election, will anything change?  Or will the Democrats simply block everything the Republicans do?  I guess what I mean…is Congress really doing ANYTHING and will another election with a new party even really help?  I have to admit, I’m just starting to dip my toes into the confusing, political, and what appears to be idiocy in Washington.  I’m wondering if my voice being heard is going to do anything but drown into millions of other voices.  Voices that are saying “what other choice is there?”  God help us…

The Screams of Heroes

Those who know me, know that I am a Trekkie/Comic book nerd.  Today as I was driving home from work, I thought of two miserable images I remember seeing from two of my favorite movies.  The images I remembered reflect the mood I’ve been in lately.  If you could take a snapshot of my emotions over the past week or two, you may see the two images attached and the blood curdling screams both men shout in anger.  For those of you who are fellow nerds, you will recognize both Christopher Reeves from Superman and William Shatner from Star Trek: The wrath of Khan.  Both guys are pretty much legends for the roles they play and any time we think of our favorite heroes (not that Superman and James T. Kirk really exist) these two men may come to mind.  I pondered, why do these images bother me so much?  Were they scary to me as a kid?  Do they reflect human emotion in a way that some of us really would like to display?  Maybe I just felt it because these guys have the character of men we see as noble, courageous, and iron-willed, yet the anger they display in these scenes portrays a weakness that maybe they will give up.  Who knows?  Bottom line is, at the end, they take situations that are impossible to escape or do anything about and conquer with wit, luck, or superhuman feats.  I guess the thing about real life is, it doesn’t matter how much you scream sometimes, it’s not going to get any better.  There have been times I’ve screamed at the top of my lungs because I am so frustrated with life and at the end, all I had was a head ache and a sore throat.

There is one other scream that comes to my mind, even as Spongebob and Patrick are screaming at eachother on the television as I type this, I’m rolling my eyes too.  And that would have to be the scream of pain that Jesus Christ made as he died on the cross.  Jesus, the man who could do no wrong, was placed in a hopeless situation of being a sacrifice for the world’s sins and faced his pain obediently and patiently.  He did not rail at the will that God had for Him.  The fact that Jesus gave one final scream as he died, and rose from the dead to conquer the sin that placed him on a cruel cross, means that I don’t have to rage against whatever forces the world has placed against me either.  Christ conquered, He is king and I can patiently endure whatever trials life throws my way.

God is good!  He is patient!  He is noble!  He is a warrior!  He is my King!  God has placed Jesus enemies as His footstool and I shall worship him at His throne!

What happened?

Lately I’ve been asking myself how effective I am in impacting my own community for the Lord.  I wonder what people my age in my circle see when they look at me.  I wonder if I have any influence at all with anyone for Jesus Christ.  I’ve been thinking of ways I can show more love to more people.  I’ve been wondering if I shouldn’t be coming out of my comfort zone more.  I do the same thing day in and day out and nothing seems to change.  Why expect different results when you just do the same thing over and over, right?  

Can I do a better job leading my Sunday School class?   Can I do a better job of reaching out to my neighbors? 

What happened?  It’s really starting to bug me.  Where is the world’s love; even the church’s love for Jesus Christ?  What more can I do?  Or maybe the bigger question or the most troubling, am I doing anything?

Praying for healing….

This weekend I just learned a good friend’s young son has lost his sight in one eye and is quickly losing sight in his other.  He isn’t much older than my oldest son, who will be 10 in July.  His young boy is a sweet kid and I can’t imagine him having to go through his life blind.  Nonetheless, there it is, and I am praying for healing for our young friend.

My father in law is also inching closer to eternity as cancer is overtaking him. 

I love both of these guys, they are wonderful people.  They have the heart of a servant and are so dear to their families and mine.  Healing is on my mind, whether in Heaven or on Earth, and I pray for their blessing.  Christ is on His throne and He will use these two apparent tragedies for victory in eternity.  Love you Jim and my young friend.

Rollin with my Homie Steve in India, the rides…

One of the many highlights of the trips we often take to India is the transportation we often get to embark upon.  Somehow it is never just a plane, or a car, there is always something different just for us Americans.   I love our Indian friends, they always try to honor us to the highest degree they can, and sometimes it ends up in some unusual forms of transportation. 

When we arrived at our hostel, there was a procession of Banjara folks armed with flower petals and leis, ready to pummel and shower us with color as we passed by on something that looked a lot like this ox cart.  It was a first, and a trip.  This wasn’t THE one we got to ride, somehow my camera was in my pocket while we were  trying to avoid making the bulls angry, and praying all the other people didn’t spook them (they nearly did).

This is one of my favorites.  Though we haven’t quite experienced this fun (15 people crammed into a three wheeled taxi), we have had the pleasure of riding in one to market.  A lot more roomy than what these guys were experiencing I’m sure, so it was good times.

Then of course, there’s always the bicycle.  Steve’s preferred method of travel sometimes, but also the main transportation of the many pastors we have come to know and love.

There are also the mighty SUVs (compared to all other vehicles) that we usually hire, but didn’t have to hire this time, thanks to the Lord.  He mightily provides for our every need.  Here we have our friends’ most recent purchase with the prayers and support of all who love them.  Of course the traffic in India is enough to scare anyone to death, and I can only say about it is you have to experience to know what I’m talking about.  First, you are on the wrong side of the road (the left) and second, everyone honks, and third, everyone passes!  Traffic lights and cops are a suggestion apparently, and there was a woman with dimensia there that did a better job of directing a 20 lane intersection than the traffic police were doing. 

On the first leg of our flight home, we were blessed with an “upgrade” when we arrived at the airport at 4 AM in the morning.  First class for the next 9 hours.  Let me tell ya, if you’ve never experienced first class, it’s GREAT, everyone should experience it at least once.  Upgrade was an understatement!  Full reclining seats, so much leg room you could get up and dance if you got the mind to, and enough waiting staff to see to your every whim.  Steve and I were exhausted, but neither one wanted to sleep just because of the experience of the mythological first class seating.  I won’t lie, it felt good to be one of the “jerks” people snarl at as they walk by on their way to coach or economy plus.  No pictures of that seat unfortunately, but it was a blessing as it was a tiring journey.  God is good ALL the time!