Confessions: Sinful Pride Unveiled

I’ve been doing a lot of self evaluation these days.  I’ve been reading through and praying through a book called “Returning to Holiness: A Personal and Churchwide Journey to Revival.”  I never knew the threat of “hidden” sin.  In the past few days I’ve found that it can hinder my walk with God nearly to a standstill.  I have found one of my unconfessed sins to be crushing to me, and the more I think of it, the more sense it makes that it would.  My sin is pride.  If anyone has talked to me the past few days-they know this.  I have been irritable and not at all easy to get along with.  I’ve been confrontational and defensive on issues that shouldn’t be issues at all.  I started this ”journey” because I knew some things weren’t setting right with me in my life.  I’ve held grudges inwardly and embarrass easily.  It didn’t take but about a week into the book when the Holy Spirit began convicting of the major problem.

The book began asking questions like:  “Do you often criticize and judge others?”  “Do you think yourself quite spiritual?”  “Are you frequently trying to set others straight?” or “Do you have a “holier than thou attitude?”  

The stone of God’s conviction hit me straight between the eyes.   Do I criticize others?  I wouldn’t have admitted a couple of weeks ago, but yes, inwardly, in my mind…I do.  Do I think myself quite spiritual?  Yes…I do.  I’ve often compared myself to others, maybe not outwardly, but I have thought myself quite spiritual.  Now that I think of it, so did the pharisees, and Jesus Christ didn’t approve them at all.  Do I have a “holier than thou” attitude?  Let me ask you what you think?  If you know me, do I come off that way?  For those that do feel that way, I’m so sorry, you are absolutely right and if I’ve ever made you feel bad because I was staring down my pharisitical nose at you, I hope you’ll forgive me.  My heart is never to hurt, but I’ve realized that I may have, because I thought myself “quite spiritual.”  It is not Christ’s way to have his children be “holier than thou” it is Christ’s will that his children be Holy.  That’s what I’m attempting to do, and I hope that anyone reading will pray with me on this issue.  Pride, I’ve realized, is a very subtle sin; and I often do not realize when I’m being prideful.  I pray that my attitude will quickly change as I’ve repented of it.

The “Trial of the Century” Wasn’t Enough?

This week in the news, OJ Simpson was arrested (again).  From what most everybody says, it had something to do with the book he wrote.  Apparantly he broke in some place and has now been charged with burglary among other things.  I don’t know the details because I personally refuse to give this guy any more attention than what he’s already gotten.  Still, for all the attention I have NOT given, 100 other people have picked it up and seem to salivate over the situation, as though his name wasn’t mentioned enough during “the trial of the century.”  The media is absolutely going nuts over this thing this week, and because of that, so are Americans (Let me take this time to put out a blanket apology out there to anybody I offend who thinks OJ didn’t do it, or anybody that may feel I’m persecuting them for following the news, I know its out there, this is just my opinion).  It is also my opinion that we all fawn over this guy too much.  That being said, where is God in this?

Why in the world was this “book” ever written, to feed OJ’s ego?  Anybody out there that reads this please let me know what this guys attitude is.  Is it just for money?  Is he even a little bit concerned that “blood cries out from the ground?”  What about the lives that were lost so many years ago, and the souls that only God knows where is spending Eternity? 

How closely do Christians follow this stuff and do we take into consideration the eternal ramifications here?  I’m sorry, but I personally have to wonder why we know so much about the “trial of the century” and it’s aftermath; but know so very very precious little about the trial mankind was put on and found guilty but God in His mercy spared us.  Jesus Christ died in our place, took the punishment we deserve, and conquered death itself.  He freed us from sin AND the punishment of our sin.  The truth of the matter is most Christians show Jesus the kind of devotion we would show a Sonic commercial.  We glorify OJ Simpson though, I’ll even bet this newest book is a best seller, and it’s actually read, unlike most of our Bibles.

Please, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an ”OJ Simpson hater.”  Jesus can save him to the utmost just as much as he’s saved me, who is just as guilty, if not even more so than Mr. Simpson.  Maybe he didn’t commit that murder, but I’ve hated my brother before, and that makes me just as guilty as a murderer.  Yet, I just refuse to listen to any more news about this guy short of “OJ Simpson Is Saved Thanks To The Grace Of God.”  That’s a headline I’m sure I will only see in Heaven.

How Did Christ See Men? How Do I See Men?

Who has believed our report?
      And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed? 
      For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant,
      And as a root out of dry ground.
      He has no form or comeliness;
      And when we see Him,
      There is no beauty that we should desire Him. 
      He is despised and rejected by men,
      A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
      And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
      He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.  

 (Isaiah 53:1-3) 

Walking amidst a crowd of marketgoers,  it’s easy to get lost.  I am nothing but a mere consumer myself,  to shop for fish, or dates, or olives, or chickens, or goats, or sheep, or doves; I find I am another face in this crowd.  You can hear the constant buzz of shoppers and friends and neighbors.  I watch the people who pass by me to the right, as more of the same walk along side me on my left.  Some glance at me, but most look the other way when my gaze meets theirs.  Their faces are fresh, their hairs are clean; unmarred by the sweat that this day at the marketplace will bring.  Some are so concerned with their lives; they wonder how they will survive if customers do not buy, while the shoppers wonder how they will survive paying such hefty prices for survival.  Some hardened faces are hardened with a look of constant concentration, always weary that their fellow countrymen will take advantage of them.  Groups of young women have already gathered, watching their mothers shop, or talking and laughing with their young women friends.  A religious leader’s boisterous voice can now be heard loud and clear down the street, and it sounds as though he’s coming this way.  Ah, yes, here he is, giving shillings to those poor blind and maimed sitting just outside the market.  He prays loudly so all can hear, and a dirty, lame, beggar dives at his feet to thank him for his holiness and mercy.  This gathering is not one of silence.  Here, I am not in a crowd of silent onlookers but in a crowd of life and vitality.  For this is what life consists of, and I am among them…just another man, buying just another fish, or olives, or chicken, or goat, or sheep. 

Today when I pray, I will pray for these who I pass by and those who pass by me.  I will pray that God’s will be done.  Someday I will be baptized among them, I will be crucified for them, and I will be glorified by them; though I once shared glory with my Father, I am no better than they.  Today, I will silently pray, because not one of them recognizes me for who I am; but I recognize them for all they are. I’m just another face in this crowd of marketgoers, and shepherds, and Pharisees and tax collectors-those who God has sent me for.

I hope that I can see others as Christ might have.  Many didn’t even acknowledge who He was, but that didn’t matter to Him.  May I never take other’s lack of acknowledgement of me as reason to not acknowledge Christ to them.