Marked in Jail in Claremore, OK

            Mark, Chad, Zach, Johnny, RJ, Pat, Phillip, and I all have an understanding of God that we may not have had until this past Monday.  As I sat with these seven men from all walks of life who ended up in the same place by no other fault but their own, I began to share the things the Lord has brought to my heart.  Through the zealousness of a guy who changes oil in a local car dealership here in Claremore, OK, I am reminded that I am a marked man.  I shared with these men how they too are marked men.  They are not in this predicament through anything that I have done, just as I am not by anything that they have done.

            The Bible tells us that God knows the very number of hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7).  Normally this is a comforting verse to read, a verse that brings reassurance that God will take care of everything; that we are more important than the birds that God does not forget, but given the context I was sharing with these guys, it brought a shudder to my spine.  As we read that scripture, which, preceding just a couple of verses before, Jesus tells us to “fear Him, who, after He has killed, has power to cast into Hell,” it drove home the point…God is paying attention.  Scripture teaches that not one sparrow falls to the ground that the LORD does not know about, and He knows the hairs on my head.  It was at this moment I felt “marked.”

            If God is paying attention enough to know the hairs on my head, than surely He must remember that small piece of candy I stole from a convenience store when I was just a boy, which from that moment on, labeled me a thief (whether I was caught or not).  If He knows the hairs of my head, then He knows also the countless lustful thoughts I’ve had towards a countless of number of women (dressed appropriately or not) I just passed by in the mall or on the street.  Jesus said if a man just looks at a woman with lust in his heart he is guilty of adultery already.  If He pays enough attention that He knows the exact number of hairs on my head right now than surely He’s paid enough attention to the number of lies I have told to people I don’t even remember lying to, whether I remember or not, found out or not, one lie makes a person a liar, and I’m sure I’ve told many more than one.  A lying, thieving, adulterer…sins I have committed in my life and am labeled for eternity.

            I Corinthians 6:8-10 says this, “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortionists will inherit the kingdom of God.”  According to this verse, I cannot go to Heaven.  The Bible teaches God’s wrath is upon me…I am an unrighteous man who will meet a righteous God, who will meet justice, a marked man.  It is appointed once for a man to die, and after this, the judgment.  And I did it; I chose all of my sins, all by myself.  It was my free will that knows right from wrong that chose wrong. God would be absolutely right to give me Hell eternally as the deeds I chose marred my soul eternally. I am at His mercy.  

            But thank God there is mercy!  Praise His name that God would rather have a disposition of love than one of righteous judgment!  He alone provided a way for salvation.  Once I realize I’m a marked man and turn from the sins that made me that way and I believe in His Son – Jesus Christ, I am saved from judgment.  I am free from the penalty of sin, for Jesus, who knew no sin, endured the penalty and punishment and death for me upon an instrument of torture, the cross, and God sees that sacrifice as enough.  My fine is paid.  Praise God that Jesus meant what He said when He said, “It is finished.”  Praise God Jesus Christ is alive right now so I do not have to endure death and damnation that I deserve.  I am marked, but Jesus’ blood from His death covers my mark.  It covers that impurity which God cannot righteously look upon and I can be with Him.

            All of us this past Monday night, sitting in a little room in jail learned we were marked men, by our own special individual designs.  Some may have Jesus blood covering their marks, others sat, realizing they were enemies of God, realizing the truth of the Word and were forced to make a decision, repent and throw themselves at Jesus’ mercy, or wait a little while longer, remaining God’s enemy, with his wrath on their individual, hair-numbered heads.  Tonight I pray they have made the right decisions. 

 

Pray for these guys in the jail in Claremore OK.  They need it, they are everyday folks just like us who got caught doing wrong and they need salvation just like the rest of us.  Pray the justice they are receiving now will be an example to them of how swift justice will come upon them when they pass into eternity and they’ll have the brokenness to repent before it’s too late.

Ignorance Was Bliss….and Now?

Jesus Christ reveals things about men that we do not like to think about.  That or we simply dismiss the things he says out of hand, happy that the condemning statements he has do not apply to us, because we are of the faith, because we are saved.  I think it is a rare thing that professing Christians look at Jesus’ statements about the nature of man and apply His words to themselves.  I certainly didn’t.  My eyes were not open, my ears did not hear, I was ignorant, not just two years ago, at the time of my salvation, when I called Christ my Lord, but even two weeks ago, when I came across Matthew 15:18-20 in my devotions. “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart…For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, blasphemies…These are the things which defile a man.” These are the sins many Christians see, myself included, happy that they have never experienced such sins as Jesus spells out.  They perhaps were in our thoughts at one time, like the “little white lies,” and the occasional use of God’s name in vain, but thank God we are now ”forgiven saints,” forgiven even of the BIG sins we never committed, like murder or adultery.  Gone are these sins, and the consequences of them.  “Ignorance is bliss,” we may not outwardly or even inwardly think, but our actions and pleasant smiles within our “saved by grace” souls are revealed.   Ignorance of murder and adultery and the consequences thereof is great…isn’t it? I have many friends who I wouldn’t consider to be Christians.  They don’t profess to be Christians, in fact, one of them DESPISES God and the things of God…but he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.  He is a man who has never committed murder, nor would he ever consider it, it’s against the law after all, and he just wouldn’t do that.  As far as I know, he’s never committed adultery, it leads to trouble and he knows it, it also is against the law, God’s law and man’s, at least in the state of Oklahoma, FYI.  But my friend hasn’t experienced these sins or their consequences, he is ignorant of them.  Is he one of the men Jesus is speaking about?  What’s the difference between he and the saints? Taking a look at myself, there are times I’ve wanted to scream, to be an “absolute brute” as Oswald Chambers puts it, to anyone who rubbed me the wrong way.  I’ve never really struck anyone in public, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t wanted to.  The only reason I haven’t been and absolute abusive person at times I realized ”is my own cowardice coupled with the sense of protection I receive from living a ‘civilized’ life.”  That doesn’t mean the desires are not there.  If I take an absolute hard honest look at myself, I would find that there are nightmares within me.  There are things I could be and would be if not for the grace of God placing me in the environments I was placed in.  I could be an alcholic idolater in India, I could be a crack addict in a trailer park in Chelsea, I could be a dishonest accountant in Claremore, I could be a cad, taking advantage of any married woman I know in Tulsa, I could even be a prisoner on death row who made one bad choice to express my anger in a real stupid and evil way.  One second in my life time is all it would take to reveal what is truly within my sinner’s heart.  I realized the only reason I am NOT any of those things or pursuing any of those sins has nothing to do with me; but has EVERYTHING to do with Christ pursuing me in the nick of time and laying hold of me and making me something–someone new.  He called my name, despite what he knows is within me, and brought me to Himself.  There is always the possibility I could become any of what Christ proclaims in Matthew 15:18-20, even as a Christian, that is why He deserves my glory. If Christ were stripped from my life, all that would be left would defile me, all that would be left would be death.  Praise God He cannot be stripped!  Praise God He is life! Praise God He doesn’t leave it up to me NOT to sin, but gives me life that I may never will to sin again because I have been crucified with Him, but live, but not I, but Him who lives within me.

Saying “Please” to Daddy

For the better part of 7 years now, my wife has worked tirelessly at teaching our children manners.  Simple things, like saying “please” when they want something and saying “thank you” when they receive what they desire.  She incorporates these lessons into their everyday activities.  She’s such a good mother to my children, and rarely do I question her methods or reasons for discipline.

I’m amazed at what the word ”please” will do to my heart as a father.  When my children say “please,” not only does it show their manners, it shows respect for Karen and I as their parents.  It also proves to me how much they love us, as they are obeying those things which we have taught them.  Jesus Himself tells His disciples that if they love Him, they will keep his commandments. (John 14:15)  The relationship I have with my kids often reflects the relationship I should have with my Heavenly Father in Jesus Christ.  When I take into the account the joy that my boys bring me when they obey, I can’t imagine how pleased the Father is with us when we obey Him in the best way we know how.

In Luke 11:9-13; Jesus tells us how important it is that we ask the Father for those things we are in need of.  As someone who believes in the sovereignty and all-knowingness of God, I often had problems with this passage of scripture.  If God knows EVERYTHING, and knows everything I need, isn’t it kind of insulting to God for me to ask him for my needs?  Isn’t it showing very little faith In my All-Powerful Heavenly Father to “bother” Him with the trivial details of my life?  Even at that, He KNOWS my needs, why doesn’t He provide automatically?  In this line of thinking, it almost seems as God is playing games with us, almost in a cruel way, dangling a carrot in front of us.  But I know God isn’t cruel, so there has to be another answer.    

Jesus goes on, “If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!”  This passage of scripture speaks as a son asking from a father, a relationship, a bond,  there must be a relationship between the son and father before the requested item is given!  Yes, God does know what we need, He is capable of providing it, He’s even capable of providing it without us asking.  But could it be that God wants more from us than just our asking as lowly servants to an All-Powerful God?  Could it be that He wants relationship as a father to a son?

When we accept the gift that the life and death and ressurection of Jesus Christ brings (peace and blamelessness with God), we suddenly have a relationship with a Heavenly Father, in which we may trust Him, not cower before a Holy King.  Not that He has become less to us, but rather, He has become more to us, a “Dad.”  When I think of how I love to be a Dad to my boys, I am in awe of how much God must love the relationship he has with those who come to Him as children.  Who seeks a relationship as a “little child” with God?  Rest assured God loves you, and He’s waiting for you to ask whatever you need, not because you need, but because you trust.

The Human Condition of “Undeservedness”

“YOU DON’T DESERVE SPIT! — Unless you can pay for it.”  Dave Ramsey says in one of his teaching sessions of Financial Peace University.  This quote would have came right at a time when any one of us may say, “I deserve a newer model car.”  Or “I’ve lived in a mobile home all my life, I deserve a custom built house.”  Or maybe even, ”I deserve to feed the kids happy meals because they won’t shut up, and I don’t have an ounce of strength to open a can of spaghetti-Os or make a PB&J.  The premise is, if you can’t pay for it, you don’t deserve it, no matter how bad a day or life you’ve had.

I’ve been dealing with this idea the past couple of weeks…swallowing it is more like it.  In today’s cause and effect societry we assume God is that way too. 

It’s how we grew up isn’t it?  The parents tell us to be quiet and behave and we do, so we don’t get yelled at or punished.  Well, how many of us work and get paid?  We are so used to “deserving” the things that we get, good or bad, most of the time we absolutely will not be denied.  Yet over the past couple of weeks I’m reminded that God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. 

Karen and I have been looking for a rent house, deciding we may be able to save more money living closer to my place of employment than paying for gas driving back and forth.  Yet our search has turned up empty, and my frustrations have been made manifest a couple of times because I’m ready to leave the place we’re in.  Honestly, all the places for rent we wouldn’t be able to come close to renting on a month to month basis without sacrificing some major “debt snowball.”  I’ll admit I’ve prayed (or whined), wondering why the Lord doesn’t just lead us straight to the house right away so we can start saving MORE money immediately.  But you’d be surprised at the thoughts I’ve had, ”Lord, my family and I love you, we try to worship you in all we do, don’t we deserve more than what we have?  When will you bless, Lord?  Won’t you please help?”  It wasn’t until later that I thought of Dave Ramsey and realized that none of us “deserve” anything unless we can pay for it do we?  

The bible clearly states the ”wages of sin” is death.  That’s what we all deserve when it comes right down to it – death and Hell.  But we would never be promised a chance at a loving relationship with God had it not been for Jesus Christ who ”paid for” our sins.  Only does belief in Him, His sacrifice, and His ressurection and repentence of our sin allow us to be redeemed to God.  Blood bought and “paid for.”  It’s something we can never buy ourselves, but it’s a gift, all salvation requires is our belief. 

This redemption is not automatic though, just as I don’t “deserve” an affordable rent house just because I’m sucking wind-we don’t automatically deserve Heaven just because we repeat a little prayer after Jesus Christ died.  There must be a recognition of what we, being human and sinful, deserve (Hell); and repenting of what got us there, our willful sin!  This is a truth that is left out of so many churches today.  Too often we see Jesus Christ death on the cross for us as something we have earned just because we’re alive and breathing and God would never send us to Hell.  Unfortunately most of us think more of ourselves and what we think we deserve never allows us to come to this point.  In the end, we are undeserving of God’s grace, but He gives it anyway.  Praise God he gives us the choice to be paid for, without giving what we truly deserve.

The Burn of the Words of Christ

They asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?”   (Luke 24:32).

Have you discovered what these men have as they walked along the road with the risen Jesus Christ?  I love Luke chapter 24; it unveils, not only the resurrection of our Lord, but a mysterious drivenness that Jesus orchestrates in the hearts of men with just a few words.  Few people in this life can cause others to stop and evaluate where they are and turn towards some direction with power and passion.  THIS is what Jesus drew out of these two disciples as he revealed what Moses and the prophets had proclaimed centuries before – PASSION.  DRIVE.  

I love to put myself into the shoes of these men…

They had seen events that they never believed they would, the death of their great teacher and master who they KNOW is dead, but the mystery now remains as to where his body must be.  They know they and their fellowship of disciples had not taken the body.  Nor could it be Judas Iscariot, he was found gruesomely hanging from a tree jutting out over Potters Field.  Peter and John couldn’t have done it, they ran to the grave themselves and discovered only the clothing and the napkin there, and were just as shocked as the women who discovered the empty tomb.  Then there was this “angel” business these women spoke of.  Is Mary hallucinating in her grief?  Could she have seen a ghost?  What do these things mean?

A stranger approaches and inquires what they are talking about, and they fill Him in on all the news of Jerusalem, questioning whether or not he’s been hiding in a cave to not hear of these strange happenings.  And this stranger begins to speak of the things of old, the prophets and Moses!  He intricately and carefully begins to fit the events of their missing Lord’s life into the prophesies of Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel.  Pieces begin to fall into place like a jigsaw puzzle and their hearts begin to burn.  The prophets spoke not just of deliverance from oppressive governments like the Babylonian or Roman Empires, but spoke of deliverance from sin and death!  Man’s way isn’t God’s Way!  EMMANUEL MEANS “GOD WITH US – JESUS!”  Though this man has such vast knowledge of the scripture, it still has not dawned on them they are walking and talking with their Lord.  But can’t you see the look on their faces as he speaks?  The lights coming on over their heads?  The goosebumps rising on their skin?  And then, as the stranger begins to leave off from them, they invite Him in to their home and as He speaks to the Father, blessing the bread, Jesus Christ their Lord is revealed!  Unfortunately, He disappears as quickly as they recognize Him.  They turn to eachother, knowing the other has never felt so alive, and so full of purpose, their hearts BURN within them!

When was the last time you felt alive?  Full of purpose?  I remember the first time I made a true decision for God, it WASN’T when I was saved, it was a decision based on being sick of myself and who I’d become.  Nothing else had worked for me, but I knew that God had promised in His Word that if I draw near to Him, He would draw near to me.  That if I searched for Him with all my heart, I would find Him.  So I decided to test Him, to truly throw my heart into Him.  And that decision (as far as I knew then) meant attending church and serving faithfully, and also reading His Word.  I would start there….I would believe Him that much…I would draw near to Him (the only way I really knew how then), and Jesus drew near, not revealed immediately, but He was there, and when He was recognized, as my Lord, my Savior, I was set on FIRE and haven’t been the same since.

 

   

When Peter Forgot Worship

Yesterday on the way to work, I heard the song “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns.  It reminded me of a time when the movie “Facing the Giants” had first come out.  The ideas both the movie and the song conveys helped me to meditate on Peter, as he stepped out of the boat towards the Lord Jesus Christ amidst a storm.  Isn’t it amazing how we can hear a sermon or a Sunday school lesson so many times but never get the point?  God uses Life experiences to drive home the lessons that will make us just a smidge more like Jesus.  Come to think of it, that’s how Jesus taught His disciples…through real life experiences, but that’s for another blog.

There are situations we dread aren’t there?  Situations come up in life that we fear, or that make us nervous, or we would just rather not face altogether.  These experiences may not always be the same for everyone.  Me admitting to my boss that I jacked a project up scares me to death, but to another person, admitting mistakes to their boss might just be another part of their job.  I hated the feeling of cowardice I felt when friends or family pressured me to ride an amusement park roller coaster; but someone else might just blow off the jeers and teasing and go ride the Himalaya without a second thought.  In Matthew 14:22-33, Peter and the apostles of Christ were all facing something they’d rather not deal with – a storm which threatened to sink them.

I tried to put myself into Peter’s sandals as wave after wave crashed into their boat, threatening to sink them.  Perhaps he is doing his best to secure a sail when he looks up and sees what he believes must be a ghost coming toward the boat on the surface of tempest waves.  Then the ghost shouts over the waves, “Do not be afraid!  It’s me, Jesus!” 

I don’t imagine Peter believed this at first, but he had seen great things from Jesus before.  Back on the shore he had just witnessed and helped Jesus Christ feed at least 5000 people with two fishes and 5 loaves of bread, he had never expected this miracle as he began to pass his basket of fish or bread on to the next hungry person, and the next, and the next, until he finally lost count and the laws of supply and demand were completely defied.  If Christ could do that, surely he could walk on water.  Peter decided it was worth his life to see if it truly was Jesus; he would rather be with Jesus, his master and teacher who he loved, then be in this boat, afraid of sinking.  “Lord!  If it really is you!  Tell me to come to you!”

“Come!”  Christ commanded.

Peter is thrilled!  It is the Lord!  I must be with Him, I must go to Him now!  He throws a leg over the stern of the boat and feels solidity under his toes.  He throws the other leg over and lands flat footed on a foamy wave dissipating into a larger sea.  His eyes fix on Jesus, and he begins to walk, one foot in front of the other into the darkness where only Jesus is. 

Peter’s teacher is out there, making this possible.  He is waiting for Peter to take his hand in fellowship, loving Peter so much because Peter trusted him enough to do the impossible – walk on water – just to be with Him.  Peter is worshiping God through this act of faith.

Then perhaps a wave slaps Peter in the face - cold, wet, and shocking - and he begins to examine his surroundings, looking distracted.  Peter looks down at his feet, among waves of darkness, he looks back and sees the boat which is being tossed like a toy in the water, waves continue to slap his body and fear suddenly grips his heart. Peter realizes he is no longer standing, he is sinking!  And like so many of us do when we realize we are in over our heads (whether we believe in God or not), Peter screams  ”Save me, Lord!”

And Jesus is there…

What would have happened if Peter would have made it to Christ, undistracted by the chaos about him and just desiring the satisfaction, pleasure and glory of Jesus?  We may never understand what we do so many times in our frantic attempt to observe and solve our problematic situations (or ordinary everyday situations for that matter).  We would be so much better off if we would just seek the solutions through the heart of our God; look for His pleasure because He is God and He loves us, and just wants our love in return.  What would happen if we found a solution and asked ourselves, “Would this please Jesus?  Is there another solution that would please Jesus even more?”  This glorifies Jesus, this magnifies His greatness:  When we take what seems big to us, and make it small through our love (our worship) for our bigger God.

 

 

A Most Embarrassing Moment With My Spouse

Tonight a memory came to me that I haven’t thought of in a long time.  I’m not one to rehash the past, but it fell right in line with the thoughts I had after church tonight.  This, coincidently, just happened to be the same Sunday as the Super Bowl.

 

This memory starts on a Sunday morning.  I’m tired because I’m sure I stayed up too late the night before.  My wife Karen, who loves me and my children dearly, is also tired because I’m sure I stayed up too late the night before.  It’s approximately 8:00 am, I really should be getting up, church will be starting soon and I really should be there.  But my stomach hurts, I think (I always have a stomach ache when I don’t have enough sleep), and I think God will understand me calling in sick once.  Only, I’m not really sick, not really, I just want to stay in bed a little longer.  I roll over and put my arm around my wife, who IS getting up, and I’m not going to be able to convince her to stay with me.  I tell her I don’t feel well (a little white lie) and I’m not planning to go to church this morning.  She looks disappointed and says “okay” as she’s getting dressed in a hurry.  In a flash she’s gone to dress the children.  That kind of surprises me because I figured if she was in as big of a hurry as she seems to be she’ll leave the kids.  The kids are tired too, but they also are dressed and look pretty good as they head out the door as Karen gathers up the last of what she needs for the morning.  I’m still laying there in bed when she comes in one last time to barely give me a cold peck on my cheek.  “Ya know,” she said, “our boys need to be in church.  I’m going to take them, and I wish you were going too, since you are their father and my husband.”  Then she left.

 

I knew what she meant with that last statement.  I was the man of this home.  I’m supposed to be the spiritual leader; I should be waking her up and dragging her out the door.  I should be showing the children how important it is to assemble with our friends and family in Christ Jesus and worshiping him in spirit and in truth.  But here I was, lying in bed, my spouse charging out of the home, running to Jesus, tearfully that her husband refuses to join her.  I was mad at first; she made me look like a fool.  I usually go to church, don’t I deserve a break?  Then I thought back and realized my church attendance lately was hit and miss at the very best.  But how dare she talk to me like that!  I am the man of the house, aren’t I?  But my conscience told me if I were, I’d be in that car, taking my family to church.  I was mortified.  That morning my lack of enthusiasm to take my rightful place as man of the home and meet Jesus, where so many others would gather together in His name, embarrassed me.  Knowing that Christ was the reason to be there, I was ashamed.  My spouse had shown me up because she obeyed the Lord.

 

As the church, we are the bride of Christ, the bible teaches this truth in more than one passage.  Yet as Christ’s spouse, are we still lying in bed, making excuses as to why not to go and see Him?  Take this illustration metaphorically or literally, neither way is good.  When in the world did it become okay NOT to go meet Jesus with our faithful brothers and sisters in Christ?  We are His bride, and yet use His grace and goodness as a constant excuse to lie in bed and complain that we are so tired, or we are so sick, or we are so sick and tired.  Of what, can I ask, sick and tired of what?  Think about it, doesn’t Christ tell us to come to Him, we who are weak and heavy laden?  What exactly are we so tired of or sick of that we can’t come to Christ, our husband to see Him and be with Him, as He’s promised He is there with us?

 

Recently I’ve heard two people comment that it is rather normal, in these days, for a church to have a high attendance on Sunday mornings and yet have extremely low attendance in comparison on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights.  One of these folks, mercifully, said that Sunday nights may be the only time church members have to relax after a stressful week of work, not to mention a stressful Saturday of running kids back and forth to different sports games and events.  I’m trying to picture it, me standing before Christ, explaining that after a week of trying to get money to pay for more stuff that will probably take my attention away from Him…eh, maybe not.

 

Why does His bride, His church, the one people on the earth that claim to love Him the most, avoid Him like the plague after one gathering?  If we love Him as much as we claim to shouldn’t we be breaking our necks to get into His presence?  Shouldn’t we be lining up to be in His service?  Why do we constantly make excuses as to why we shouldn’t be there and mistake his mercy for winking at our complacency?  Christ said He vomited us out because we are not cold nor hot!  It’s time for some kind of revival; it’s time for repentance, in our church and in our nation.

Life After The Mission Trip (Over There)

We’ve been home for nearly three weeks.  We’ve received a couple of emails from Pastor Damodar, the head pastor over the Banjara For Christ Society.   The work we did while we were there yielded some fruit.  We preached in 32 thadas (villages) and 27 people accepted Christ, while 35 others expressed interest in people coming back to talk to them more about Jesus.  We also had 40 men in our training sessions and 50 women in the women’s classes.  Almost 400 people showed up for the final rally and heard the gospel preached. 

Life is steady for the pastors in India (as though it would have stopped when we came home right?).  Pastor Damodar has notified us there are still pastors going deep into the country to follow up in the thandas where we people expressed interest while we were there.  People are still accepting Christ as their Savior even now and the gospel continues to be preached by our Banjara Christian brothers!

This morning we received notification that Damodar’s wife, Sush, is sick.  Apparantly she has chicken pox.  I’m not sure how serious a thing this is in India, but he says she’s throwing up a lot and she has a rash.  He also says that their daughter, Goldie, doesn’t understand why she can’t go near her mom.   Their kind of worried about her, she’s only about a year old.  They are more worried for Sush though, Sush is one of the sweetest ladies I’ve ever met.  She always works so hard to make sure we are taken care of in India.  We love her as our sister in Christ and hope she gets better soon.  She is in our prayers, as well as the rest of her family and the pastors who are still spreading the gospel.

Get well Sush.

Psalm 139: The Effective, Loving, Ever-present God

Psalm 139: The Effective, Loving, Everpresent God

Recently a friend of mine asked if I had ever meditated on Psalm 139.  I’ve read a portion of it, but have never sincerely looked at it extensively…until today. Before I really go into my thoughts on just a few of what I feel are the main verses of the passage, I would like to say I believe in the sovereignty of God; He can do what He wants…period.  I know I will never understand all He wishes to do in my life despite the kind of person I am, but He does.  That’s one thing I’ve learned from this passage. Secondly, we know that God has endowed his creation man with a free will, and God is glorified when, despite of all we’ve done, we accept Him as He is, Holy, Sovereign and all. “O Lord, you have searched me, and known me.”This to me is the heart of Psalm 139.  God knows me, He understands me, and understands my thoughts far off or near.  He knows them as I think them; He knows them years down the road.  The Lord knows me so well that there is no word on my tongue or lips that God doesn’t know before I say it.  He is also behind me and in front of me.  He “comprehends” where I go, and when I just lie down…he understands my motivations for getting up in the morning and going from place to place and my motivations for going to bed - whether I’m tired or lazy.  If he knows that, He surely also knows why I stay in bed, and whether or not I believe I have any reason for getting up. God knows me; I heard it once said, “God is above me looking down, below me looking up, to my right side looking left and left side looking right, he is within me looking out.”  He knows my outside, every dimple, every pimple, every pucker, and every imperfection.  He knows my inside, every hair, every blood cell, every blood clot, every fat cell…He knows me.  He knows my heart, sinful motivations, sinful feelings and sinful flesh.  I’m a sinner, and he knows that…saved by grace, by Jesus Christ, but a sinner just the same…and with all that information that God knows about my person…verse 5 says He has “laid His hand upon me.” I cannot “flee from God’s spirit,” even if I wanted to.  This doesn’t mean I can’t go out from His grace and sin, it just means God is everywhere and ever present, no matter where I go, He is there.  God will orchestrate life to bring me back as a child of God, and as a sinner, orchestrate life to bring sinners to Him.  But even when I want to hide, when I say “surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even then God shall light the darkness so nothing may hide in the darkness.  He is there, and nothing will hide from Him, no secret sins.  He knows them, even the dark secrets of our past, it doesn’t surprise Him, He makes night to day and darkness and day are one to Him, because it is ALL light. “Oh that you should slay the wicked, O God!”  This passage seemed strangely out of place to me, until I thought that maybe the wickedness would be within me.  It makes sense.  After all that trying to hide my sin, hide in the darkness, and I now see how I am before a Holy, righteous God because of His light, would it not make sense to ask Him to slay the wickedness within? Can this sin within be  my enemy?  Who else might say that I am “my own worst enemy?”  Couldn’t all of us?  I think I’m on the right track in this line of thinking as the next section of verses say, “Search me, O God, and know my heart…see if there is any wicked way within me.” My friend asked after reading this Psalm 139, “How can God forgive me if He knows I’m going to screw up again anyway?”  Because He knows you, and mercy is in His disposition, He’s sovereign and He can, and He also knows He gave you a free will.  He has faith in Himself and His Word, and He knows His light will eventually lead your free will to saying “Search me, O God!  Try me!”  God is God, and He made a Way, and Jesus is sufficient for us, even when we doubt ourselves.  I see this passage as joyful.  If God knows me this well, how can I lose when I trust Him and Him alone?  Not trust Him and myself, but just Him.  And guess what?  We don’t have to understand it all….just trust Him, He does…He’s God.  Even the Psalmist said, “such knowledge is too wonderful for me: It is high, I cannot attain it.”  God is God, He is love, He puts His hand on me, He lights up the shadows and sin I’ve hidden (that’s a good thing), and He looks for us to cry out to Him because He is God, and he loves us, whether we understand it or not.

Banjara For Christ 2007-2008 (Day 9)

This morning started as a typical morning for us.  We woke up early – not because we wanted to, but because we were all awake, again.  We were showered in record time as the water was extremely cold this morning.  Breakfast was at 9, the atmosphere was a bit more relaxed for the team because they knew there was nothing they personally had to preach or teach today.  Though Jana got sick last night and didn’t feel much like eating.  Sush has been getting sick too…

After breakfast we all went to our rooms where we were donned with another fancy Indian outfit. This was much nicer than the ones they bought us last year.  However, they were all too small.  Only I could get the shirt buttoned all the way down, but I was uncomfortable with that.  Steve and Richard were in the same boat.  Sush asked that we instead wear then more like sport coats and that worked out fine.

Pastor Steve baptized about 20 believers and then the fan fare began.  There was a huge procession for the six of us.  It was complete with “stick dancers” and traditional Banjara tribal dancers.  There were so many of them.  We walked through a huge parade of people dancing and singing.  Flowers were being thrown in the air on us and all around us.  They gave us more flowers to place around our necks.  I’ve never seen so many colors and heard so much noise as these humble village people escorted us to the front of a huge tent.  There we heard more music and were entertained by the best of the stick dancers.  They danced and sang to music as each one of them had two wooden sticks in each hand which they clicked and clacked together as they weaved past each other in dance.  Each on wore a red bandana as a headband; signifying the type of entertainer they were.  Most of these dancers were young men, no older than 21, but there were 3 ladies there who were just as skilled as the men.  Banjara dancers were next, three women who danced and balanced big liter sized bottles of water on their heads.  One of these women we’ve been watching all week.  She has this look of absolute confidence on her face when she dances; almost a look of smugness.  She never has this look any other time except when she dances.  It’s pretty amusing.

Pastor Steve gave a message and brought the gospel to a lot of people who have come from the thandas.  Some we preached to in the village, some are church members who came and wanted to say goodbye to us.  Still others were just people who had heard the noise and came to see what the commotion was all about.  Steve gave an invitation, though it was not clear as to whether people heard the gospel and were responding to the Holy Spirit working conviction of their sins, or if everybody simply was coming to receive prayer for healing and blessing.  The Banjara are a very superstitious people, and it would be easy to see how they would think “white people” could pray for them and all would be well.  The whole group prayed for those who came, believing and hoping they were coming for salvation.

After those services we had lunch.  EVERYONE had lunch.  There was a huge amount of food being served to a huge amount of people.  Rice and chicken were on the menu as usual.  Though I learned most of these people don’t get the chicken on a daily basis, all they ever have any abundance of is rice.  I couldn’t imagine it.  Sush called it a “chicken feast,” and that it was.  There were so many Banjara people; I hope our visit did them well and that Christ’s message will not be obscured by the “white folks from America” who came to tell it.

After lunch we finished packing and tried to nap before leaving for the city to do some shopping and then going to the airport.  It wasn’t easy to sleep as we knew we were going home.  We got one more cold shower in hopes that we could stay clean through the biggest part of our journey.

Goodbyes were quick thank goodness.  Many of those I was saying goodbye to I had not personally spoken to all week long, but they were all tearful just the same.  These people love us so much.  Sudakar, Damodar’s brother, who served us meals all week long, was about to break down while we were saying goodbye.  And Damodar’s mother had huge tears in her eyes.  That was hardest for me; seeing this woman who barely knew us weep over such simple servants of the Lord.  We were there to serve her and she served us one thousand times over by just being there, to love us and listen, to dance, to sing or just to smile as many, many others did the same all week long.  We will be missing some very good friends.

Thinking on the trip home about the events of the day and the past week; I can’t help but say that I’ll miss the fellowship more than anything.  We had so many good times with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  We did our best to serve one another and I’ve learned that this is a major part in fellowship in the Lord.  These beautiful people treat us as though we are heroes or celebrities.  They make big banners in order to announce our comings and goings and they make sure every need is met according to their best ability so that we soft Americans are as comfortable as we can be.  They see us as leaving homes thousands of miles away as being the biggest, most important events of our lives.  To some, it is.  To me, it is; not because I am any type of hero, but because it takes a huge amount of faith in the Lord to get there and to get through it.  Money, time, lessons, embarrassment at times, sickness at times, fears to conquer, love to risk and even the chance of never seeing your loved ones again, back home and in the mission field; at least not until we all get to Heaven.  All of these must be considered and take faith in the Lord just to get by and step out toward that visit to the Banjara people.  It seems the people of India understand that, though they may never understand the specific details.

Now, going home, which has been a remarkably smooth ride (I slept 6 hours of our first 8 hour flight) I realize I’m heading back to a place where my words will not mean near as much as they do in India.  Among my own people, I am just like they are.  I am equal and not held on a pedestal.  People will categorize the words I speak for the Lord as being with those they respect, like they would a dear pastor or a youth minister, but rarely will those words be taken to heart.  No, at home, in America, there must always be more than words, but there also must be action.  People love to be put up on a pedestal, they love to be made to feel important, as though what their words say mean something to those around them.  They SHOULD mean something.  The very fact that intelligible words are coming from the voice that God gave them should mean that someone is listening, especially when it’s someone from home who can relate to them.  If this trip has taught me anything, it is that when the very least among men is speaking, the very least among believers should be listening.  Open hearts should be among us, so we might seek a way to bring men, women, and children to the saving grace of our Lord and then the sanctifying favor from He who we have found and adore.  I personally realize just how much we are called to serve among believers and unbelievers alike, even when serving just means listening.

As for the fellowship among my brothers in Christ who went on this trip, we have all grown closer.  Richard, whom I didn’t really know very well, will now be a life long friend as we have served together and realize we see much more eye to eye than what we ever believed.  It was regrettable though, to the both of us that we never took time out before to get to know one another.

Sometimes people have preconceived ideas about another person and often times they let those ideas keep them from stepping out in faith to get to know them.  I believe Richard realized that he never knew me.  Well, not to the point he does now.  The same can be said about me with him.  Yet I was apologetic and let him know that I’m shy as it is.  Because of that, there are few we serve in the church with who do know me as well as he does now.

Steve, my pastor, friend and mentor is looking at these mission trips now with comfort and casualness.  He understands the urgency of souls needing to be reached fro Christ, but there is now comfort ability in what he does when he goes to India.  He is not as apprehensive as he once was about teaching and preaching to people he doesn’t know.  Now he sees all of them as just needing Jesus Christ and that’s giving him a drive to come back again and again.  May I also learn to step out of my comfort zone until it becomes comfortable for me as well.