The Human Condition of “Undeservedness”

“YOU DON’T DESERVE SPIT! — Unless you can pay for it.”  Dave Ramsey says in one of his teaching sessions of Financial Peace University.  This quote would have came right at a time when any one of us may say, “I deserve a newer model car.”  Or “I’ve lived in a mobile home all my life, I deserve a custom built house.”  Or maybe even, ”I deserve to feed the kids happy meals because they won’t shut up, and I don’t have an ounce of strength to open a can of spaghetti-Os or make a PB&J.  The premise is, if you can’t pay for it, you don’t deserve it, no matter how bad a day or life you’ve had.

I’ve been dealing with this idea the past couple of weeks…swallowing it is more like it.  In today’s cause and effect societry we assume God is that way too. 

It’s how we grew up isn’t it?  The parents tell us to be quiet and behave and we do, so we don’t get yelled at or punished.  Well, how many of us work and get paid?  We are so used to “deserving” the things that we get, good or bad, most of the time we absolutely will not be denied.  Yet over the past couple of weeks I’m reminded that God’s ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. 

Karen and I have been looking for a rent house, deciding we may be able to save more money living closer to my place of employment than paying for gas driving back and forth.  Yet our search has turned up empty, and my frustrations have been made manifest a couple of times because I’m ready to leave the place we’re in.  Honestly, all the places for rent we wouldn’t be able to come close to renting on a month to month basis without sacrificing some major “debt snowball.”  I’ll admit I’ve prayed (or whined), wondering why the Lord doesn’t just lead us straight to the house right away so we can start saving MORE money immediately.  But you’d be surprised at the thoughts I’ve had, ”Lord, my family and I love you, we try to worship you in all we do, don’t we deserve more than what we have?  When will you bless, Lord?  Won’t you please help?”  It wasn’t until later that I thought of Dave Ramsey and realized that none of us “deserve” anything unless we can pay for it do we?  

The bible clearly states the ”wages of sin” is death.  That’s what we all deserve when it comes right down to it – death and Hell.  But we would never be promised a chance at a loving relationship with God had it not been for Jesus Christ who ”paid for” our sins.  Only does belief in Him, His sacrifice, and His ressurection and repentence of our sin allow us to be redeemed to God.  Blood bought and “paid for.”  It’s something we can never buy ourselves, but it’s a gift, all salvation requires is our belief. 

This redemption is not automatic though, just as I don’t “deserve” an affordable rent house just because I’m sucking wind-we don’t automatically deserve Heaven just because we repeat a little prayer after Jesus Christ died.  There must be a recognition of what we, being human and sinful, deserve (Hell); and repenting of what got us there, our willful sin!  This is a truth that is left out of so many churches today.  Too often we see Jesus Christ death on the cross for us as something we have earned just because we’re alive and breathing and God would never send us to Hell.  Unfortunately most of us think more of ourselves and what we think we deserve never allows us to come to this point.  In the end, we are undeserving of God’s grace, but He gives it anyway.  Praise God he gives us the choice to be paid for, without giving what we truly deserve.

When Peter Forgot Worship

Yesterday on the way to work, I heard the song “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns.  It reminded me of a time when the movie “Facing the Giants” had first come out.  The ideas both the movie and the song conveys helped me to meditate on Peter, as he stepped out of the boat towards the Lord Jesus Christ amidst a storm.  Isn’t it amazing how we can hear a sermon or a Sunday school lesson so many times but never get the point?  God uses Life experiences to drive home the lessons that will make us just a smidge more like Jesus.  Come to think of it, that’s how Jesus taught His disciples…through real life experiences, but that’s for another blog.

There are situations we dread aren’t there?  Situations come up in life that we fear, or that make us nervous, or we would just rather not face altogether.  These experiences may not always be the same for everyone.  Me admitting to my boss that I jacked a project up scares me to death, but to another person, admitting mistakes to their boss might just be another part of their job.  I hated the feeling of cowardice I felt when friends or family pressured me to ride an amusement park roller coaster; but someone else might just blow off the jeers and teasing and go ride the Himalaya without a second thought.  In Matthew 14:22-33, Peter and the apostles of Christ were all facing something they’d rather not deal with – a storm which threatened to sink them.

I tried to put myself into Peter’s sandals as wave after wave crashed into their boat, threatening to sink them.  Perhaps he is doing his best to secure a sail when he looks up and sees what he believes must be a ghost coming toward the boat on the surface of tempest waves.  Then the ghost shouts over the waves, “Do not be afraid!  It’s me, Jesus!” 

I don’t imagine Peter believed this at first, but he had seen great things from Jesus before.  Back on the shore he had just witnessed and helped Jesus Christ feed at least 5000 people with two fishes and 5 loaves of bread, he had never expected this miracle as he began to pass his basket of fish or bread on to the next hungry person, and the next, and the next, until he finally lost count and the laws of supply and demand were completely defied.  If Christ could do that, surely he could walk on water.  Peter decided it was worth his life to see if it truly was Jesus; he would rather be with Jesus, his master and teacher who he loved, then be in this boat, afraid of sinking.  “Lord!  If it really is you!  Tell me to come to you!”

“Come!”  Christ commanded.

Peter is thrilled!  It is the Lord!  I must be with Him, I must go to Him now!  He throws a leg over the stern of the boat and feels solidity under his toes.  He throws the other leg over and lands flat footed on a foamy wave dissipating into a larger sea.  His eyes fix on Jesus, and he begins to walk, one foot in front of the other into the darkness where only Jesus is. 

Peter’s teacher is out there, making this possible.  He is waiting for Peter to take his hand in fellowship, loving Peter so much because Peter trusted him enough to do the impossible – walk on water – just to be with Him.  Peter is worshiping God through this act of faith.

Then perhaps a wave slaps Peter in the face - cold, wet, and shocking - and he begins to examine his surroundings, looking distracted.  Peter looks down at his feet, among waves of darkness, he looks back and sees the boat which is being tossed like a toy in the water, waves continue to slap his body and fear suddenly grips his heart. Peter realizes he is no longer standing, he is sinking!  And like so many of us do when we realize we are in over our heads (whether we believe in God or not), Peter screams  ”Save me, Lord!”

And Jesus is there…

What would have happened if Peter would have made it to Christ, undistracted by the chaos about him and just desiring the satisfaction, pleasure and glory of Jesus?  We may never understand what we do so many times in our frantic attempt to observe and solve our problematic situations (or ordinary everyday situations for that matter).  We would be so much better off if we would just seek the solutions through the heart of our God; look for His pleasure because He is God and He loves us, and just wants our love in return.  What would happen if we found a solution and asked ourselves, “Would this please Jesus?  Is there another solution that would please Jesus even more?”  This glorifies Jesus, this magnifies His greatness:  When we take what seems big to us, and make it small through our love (our worship) for our bigger God.

 

 

A Most Embarrassing Moment With My Spouse

Tonight a memory came to me that I haven’t thought of in a long time.  I’m not one to rehash the past, but it fell right in line with the thoughts I had after church tonight.  This, coincidently, just happened to be the same Sunday as the Super Bowl.

 

This memory starts on a Sunday morning.  I’m tired because I’m sure I stayed up too late the night before.  My wife Karen, who loves me and my children dearly, is also tired because I’m sure I stayed up too late the night before.  It’s approximately 8:00 am, I really should be getting up, church will be starting soon and I really should be there.  But my stomach hurts, I think (I always have a stomach ache when I don’t have enough sleep), and I think God will understand me calling in sick once.  Only, I’m not really sick, not really, I just want to stay in bed a little longer.  I roll over and put my arm around my wife, who IS getting up, and I’m not going to be able to convince her to stay with me.  I tell her I don’t feel well (a little white lie) and I’m not planning to go to church this morning.  She looks disappointed and says “okay” as she’s getting dressed in a hurry.  In a flash she’s gone to dress the children.  That kind of surprises me because I figured if she was in as big of a hurry as she seems to be she’ll leave the kids.  The kids are tired too, but they also are dressed and look pretty good as they head out the door as Karen gathers up the last of what she needs for the morning.  I’m still laying there in bed when she comes in one last time to barely give me a cold peck on my cheek.  “Ya know,” she said, “our boys need to be in church.  I’m going to take them, and I wish you were going too, since you are their father and my husband.”  Then she left.

 

I knew what she meant with that last statement.  I was the man of this home.  I’m supposed to be the spiritual leader; I should be waking her up and dragging her out the door.  I should be showing the children how important it is to assemble with our friends and family in Christ Jesus and worshiping him in spirit and in truth.  But here I was, lying in bed, my spouse charging out of the home, running to Jesus, tearfully that her husband refuses to join her.  I was mad at first; she made me look like a fool.  I usually go to church, don’t I deserve a break?  Then I thought back and realized my church attendance lately was hit and miss at the very best.  But how dare she talk to me like that!  I am the man of the house, aren’t I?  But my conscience told me if I were, I’d be in that car, taking my family to church.  I was mortified.  That morning my lack of enthusiasm to take my rightful place as man of the home and meet Jesus, where so many others would gather together in His name, embarrassed me.  Knowing that Christ was the reason to be there, I was ashamed.  My spouse had shown me up because she obeyed the Lord.

 

As the church, we are the bride of Christ, the bible teaches this truth in more than one passage.  Yet as Christ’s spouse, are we still lying in bed, making excuses as to why not to go and see Him?  Take this illustration metaphorically or literally, neither way is good.  When in the world did it become okay NOT to go meet Jesus with our faithful brothers and sisters in Christ?  We are His bride, and yet use His grace and goodness as a constant excuse to lie in bed and complain that we are so tired, or we are so sick, or we are so sick and tired.  Of what, can I ask, sick and tired of what?  Think about it, doesn’t Christ tell us to come to Him, we who are weak and heavy laden?  What exactly are we so tired of or sick of that we can’t come to Christ, our husband to see Him and be with Him, as He’s promised He is there with us?

 

Recently I’ve heard two people comment that it is rather normal, in these days, for a church to have a high attendance on Sunday mornings and yet have extremely low attendance in comparison on Sunday nights and Wednesday nights.  One of these folks, mercifully, said that Sunday nights may be the only time church members have to relax after a stressful week of work, not to mention a stressful Saturday of running kids back and forth to different sports games and events.  I’m trying to picture it, me standing before Christ, explaining that after a week of trying to get money to pay for more stuff that will probably take my attention away from Him…eh, maybe not.

 

Why does His bride, His church, the one people on the earth that claim to love Him the most, avoid Him like the plague after one gathering?  If we love Him as much as we claim to shouldn’t we be breaking our necks to get into His presence?  Shouldn’t we be lining up to be in His service?  Why do we constantly make excuses as to why we shouldn’t be there and mistake his mercy for winking at our complacency?  Christ said He vomited us out because we are not cold nor hot!  It’s time for some kind of revival; it’s time for repentance, in our church and in our nation.

Psalm 139: The Effective, Loving, Ever-present God

Psalm 139: The Effective, Loving, Everpresent God

Recently a friend of mine asked if I had ever meditated on Psalm 139.  I’ve read a portion of it, but have never sincerely looked at it extensively…until today. Before I really go into my thoughts on just a few of what I feel are the main verses of the passage, I would like to say I believe in the sovereignty of God; He can do what He wants…period.  I know I will never understand all He wishes to do in my life despite the kind of person I am, but He does.  That’s one thing I’ve learned from this passage. Secondly, we know that God has endowed his creation man with a free will, and God is glorified when, despite of all we’ve done, we accept Him as He is, Holy, Sovereign and all. “O Lord, you have searched me, and known me.”This to me is the heart of Psalm 139.  God knows me, He understands me, and understands my thoughts far off or near.  He knows them as I think them; He knows them years down the road.  The Lord knows me so well that there is no word on my tongue or lips that God doesn’t know before I say it.  He is also behind me and in front of me.  He “comprehends” where I go, and when I just lie down…he understands my motivations for getting up in the morning and going from place to place and my motivations for going to bed - whether I’m tired or lazy.  If he knows that, He surely also knows why I stay in bed, and whether or not I believe I have any reason for getting up. God knows me; I heard it once said, “God is above me looking down, below me looking up, to my right side looking left and left side looking right, he is within me looking out.”  He knows my outside, every dimple, every pimple, every pucker, and every imperfection.  He knows my inside, every hair, every blood cell, every blood clot, every fat cell…He knows me.  He knows my heart, sinful motivations, sinful feelings and sinful flesh.  I’m a sinner, and he knows that…saved by grace, by Jesus Christ, but a sinner just the same…and with all that information that God knows about my person…verse 5 says He has “laid His hand upon me.” I cannot “flee from God’s spirit,” even if I wanted to.  This doesn’t mean I can’t go out from His grace and sin, it just means God is everywhere and ever present, no matter where I go, He is there.  God will orchestrate life to bring me back as a child of God, and as a sinner, orchestrate life to bring sinners to Him.  But even when I want to hide, when I say “surely the darkness shall fall on me,” even then God shall light the darkness so nothing may hide in the darkness.  He is there, and nothing will hide from Him, no secret sins.  He knows them, even the dark secrets of our past, it doesn’t surprise Him, He makes night to day and darkness and day are one to Him, because it is ALL light. “Oh that you should slay the wicked, O God!”  This passage seemed strangely out of place to me, until I thought that maybe the wickedness would be within me.  It makes sense.  After all that trying to hide my sin, hide in the darkness, and I now see how I am before a Holy, righteous God because of His light, would it not make sense to ask Him to slay the wickedness within? Can this sin within be  my enemy?  Who else might say that I am “my own worst enemy?”  Couldn’t all of us?  I think I’m on the right track in this line of thinking as the next section of verses say, “Search me, O God, and know my heart…see if there is any wicked way within me.” My friend asked after reading this Psalm 139, “How can God forgive me if He knows I’m going to screw up again anyway?”  Because He knows you, and mercy is in His disposition, He’s sovereign and He can, and He also knows He gave you a free will.  He has faith in Himself and His Word, and He knows His light will eventually lead your free will to saying “Search me, O God!  Try me!”  God is God, and He made a Way, and Jesus is sufficient for us, even when we doubt ourselves.  I see this passage as joyful.  If God knows me this well, how can I lose when I trust Him and Him alone?  Not trust Him and myself, but just Him.  And guess what?  We don’t have to understand it all….just trust Him, He does…He’s God.  Even the Psalmist said, “such knowledge is too wonderful for me: It is high, I cannot attain it.”  God is God, He is love, He puts His hand on me, He lights up the shadows and sin I’ve hidden (that’s a good thing), and He looks for us to cry out to Him because He is God, and he loves us, whether we understand it or not.

Repent! The Rally Cry of a Cowboy in the “Autumn” of His Life

Church services were different today.  I’m not sure if it was the crashing of our projector computer, or the fact that both our pastor and associate pastor were away visiting family for the holidays, or even the fact that we had two laymen preaching today’s messages, but things were…different, and that was a good thing.  Tonight’s message focused on the simple message of a cowboy who admittedly is in the “autumn” of his life.  He knows he doesn’t have much longer to go before meeting the Lord, and that’s alright by him.  The fact of the matter is, Wes Ramsey has been working on sanctification for most of his life, it’s a slow process he says, and that was refreshing to hear, since I’m just now seeing the importance of being clean before God ON A DAILY BASIS.  It made me happy that just because I don’t see as much progress as I’d like to see in my spiritual life, Wes is still working on his too.  An interesting thing he said tonight, and I’ve heard him say it before…that this nation needs to “return to Holiness.”  And in order to do that, we must do what Christ preached when he started his ministry, and John the Baptist preached as the forerunner to Christ, and prophets of old preached to their nation when it had fallen to adultery and idolatry.  We must repent!  Repent from what?  Sin obviously…duh.  But what kind of sin?  I think I can safely say, you name it, we probably need to repent of it. “That’s judgemental” you say?  Maybe…maybe not.  Consider for a moment that I’m not being judgemental, that there really is something in YOUR life that is not pleasing to God, don’t worry about MY life, and whether or not I’m judging.  Why don’t you (and I say this in love to ANYONE reading) sit down, SHUT UP, and consider that there may be sin in your life that you aren’t aware of.  I bet it’s in an area of your life you would never have imagined.  The Pharisees and Saducees of Jesus’ day weren’t ugly demon folks, they were “good” people who believed they were in the right most of the time because they followed God’s law and the traditions they made to help God’s law.  Sound familiar?  Don’t we do the same thing day after day?  Thinking we’re right because we live by the Bible and man’s traditions of church?  Sure it started out as sincerity to God, but it has turned into hypocricy and idol worship.  Repent! For once, repent of being a “Christian” and start being a person who just loves God and wants to follow HARD after Christ.  Maybe we start seeing ourselves as “lost” instead of just assumming we’re part of the fold.  Repent of being just another drone.

“Shaken to the Core” – by what?

An emotional Oprah Winfrey said Monday she had been “shaken to the core” by sexual abuse claims at her elite girls’ school in South Africa, calling the episode one of the most devastating of her life. (AFP – Fran Blandy)

The unfortunate events at Oprah’s school surely is a tragedy. I’m sure Oprah has taken it hard within. Surely she must be thinking what else she may have been able to do. Why did she not take better precautions that these children which she so carefully and painstakingly selected to be part of this school? Surely she even feels somewhat responsible…so she does what anyone in her position and wielding her power and money would do…clean house.

Oprah stated herself she was “shaken to the core.” I got to thinking about this statement. I wondered what the Bible said about being “shaken,” especially when it came to the “core” or, to the best I can understand it, the spirit. This is one of the verses I found. Notice what shakes this prophet of God when he finds that Israel is riddled with false prophets who are NOT of God:

My heart within me is broken
Because of the prophets;
All my bones shake.
I am like a drunken man,
And like a man whom wine has overcome,
Because of the LORD,
And because of His holy words.

Jeremiah 23:9

God’s Holy words are what shakes men, they break men’s hearts. And the realization of God’s Holiness and our unholiness (if we take a look at who we truly are and our motivations, i.e. the “why” we live) are what makes us as men and women that wine has overcome. We sob like drunkards and all our bones shake when faced with God’s nature and words.

For all of Oprah’s good deeds, good nature, good money, charity and willingness to make a difference in unfortunate people’s lives, this gesture of hope in South Africa has been marred by the human condition. Sin crept in as it always does, and now, Oprah is “shaken to the core.” It makes me wonder if those words, sounding as sincere as they may be, might be somewhat misplaced.

Maybe Oprah truly selected the best of the best, those she trusted implicitly with those children and found herself as Jeremiah did seeing a Holy God being misrepresented by false prophets. Oprah’s school is suddenly misrepresented and her wrath comes down on all teachers there and she cleans house. If she could do this feeling “shaken”, what will God do who is not shaken? Even those who will not claim God’s name; but rather the power of the human spirit, know the meaning of justice. May we all be “shaken” by the right things:God Himself and His Words before we ourselves must face true justice.

Confessions: Sinful Pride Unveiled

I’ve been doing a lot of self evaluation these days.  I’ve been reading through and praying through a book called “Returning to Holiness: A Personal and Churchwide Journey to Revival.”  I never knew the threat of “hidden” sin.  In the past few days I’ve found that it can hinder my walk with God nearly to a standstill.  I have found one of my unconfessed sins to be crushing to me, and the more I think of it, the more sense it makes that it would.  My sin is pride.  If anyone has talked to me the past few days-they know this.  I have been irritable and not at all easy to get along with.  I’ve been confrontational and defensive on issues that shouldn’t be issues at all.  I started this ”journey” because I knew some things weren’t setting right with me in my life.  I’ve held grudges inwardly and embarrass easily.  It didn’t take but about a week into the book when the Holy Spirit began convicting of the major problem.

The book began asking questions like:  “Do you often criticize and judge others?”  “Do you think yourself quite spiritual?”  “Are you frequently trying to set others straight?” or “Do you have a “holier than thou attitude?”  

The stone of God’s conviction hit me straight between the eyes.   Do I criticize others?  I wouldn’t have admitted a couple of weeks ago, but yes, inwardly, in my mind…I do.  Do I think myself quite spiritual?  Yes…I do.  I’ve often compared myself to others, maybe not outwardly, but I have thought myself quite spiritual.  Now that I think of it, so did the pharisees, and Jesus Christ didn’t approve them at all.  Do I have a “holier than thou” attitude?  Let me ask you what you think?  If you know me, do I come off that way?  For those that do feel that way, I’m so sorry, you are absolutely right and if I’ve ever made you feel bad because I was staring down my pharisitical nose at you, I hope you’ll forgive me.  My heart is never to hurt, but I’ve realized that I may have, because I thought myself “quite spiritual.”  It is not Christ’s way to have his children be “holier than thou” it is Christ’s will that his children be Holy.  That’s what I’m attempting to do, and I hope that anyone reading will pray with me on this issue.  Pride, I’ve realized, is a very subtle sin; and I often do not realize when I’m being prideful.  I pray that my attitude will quickly change as I’ve repented of it.